Happy New Year!
As you may have seen on Twitter or Facebook, the Hubster and I celebrated fairly simply and had a lot of fun with just the two of us and the two dogs we're petsitting. We played Monopoly (he won), sipped champagne, watched The Fall of Sam Axe, and hid under the table with the pups when the fireworks freaked them out. You think I'm joking:
Yesterday we dutifully, and delightedly ate our pork roast, kraut, black eyed peas, greens, and cornbread. I was very pleased that I managed to cook all of the above--four first times in one meal was a bit daunting--especially the greens which I bought fresh! I was glad I had saved some of our Christmas ham in the freeze for flavoring the beans and greens, too. yummmm.
Anyway, I also spent some time reflecting over the past couple of days, looking back at 2013 and ahead to 2014. I thought a lot about the "hats" I wear.
I became a wife in 2013--a role that I love and am still growing into.
I learned a lot about being a daughter, a friend, an adult.
In light of two of my best friends' moms dying this past year, I have been both mourner and comforter, prayer and prayed for. We carry that weight with us into 2014--a weight of grief and a weight of the hope of glory. We're all hoping that this year brings renewed joy and peace as we weave memory and hope into our hearts.
I continue to be a student, and, for maybe the first time in my life, I struck a healthier balance between schoolwork and the rest of my life. I was astonished that, other than in French which is really hard, my grades didn't change that much even though my quality of life did.
I started a business, too--something that maybe surprised me as much as anyone else. Mes Aventures, Crafts & Co. started as an art shop about place and has already morphed a bit to be about all kinds of life adventures--big and small. With this rather big leap I became an entrepreneur/ small business owner and, of all things, a professional artist.
I don't ever remember not wanting to be an artist. Whatever else I was pursuing, I always seemed to add "and an artist." in my head and heart. But after about age 6, it was always like that--a sort of afterthought.
And yet, here I am, a newlywed in 2014 (another thing I didn't see coming ;-) ), who has decided to take a break from the education required for all those other pursuits (after I finish my B.A. this semester), to encourage and grow the "afterthought."
But now that I "really am" an artist, I find myself paralyzed with fear of my own inadequacy.
I didn't go to art school--I'm a lit student, teacher, and budding linguist by training. I find myself spending plenty of time thinking about art and much less time doing it. I want that to change. I don't want to just pursue the idea of art or creativity. I want to embrace and act upon them.
So, a couple of days ago, I sat down with journal and tea to make a plan. (Just ask April: I love plans. She can tell you, too, that things rarely go according to plan.)
Across one page I scrawled the words of Andy Warhol:
"Don't think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if its good or bad whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art."
That's where I'm heading this year. As I create, I know my skills will improve, as will my focus and routine.
Maybe by the end of 2014 I won't feel so sheepish when I tell people I'm an artist. ;-)
Adventure well; Live fully.