A Lesson from the Fishes

Happy Friday, everyone!

As y'all may know from Facebook and Instagram, I set up my aquarium this weekend. 
29 gallons of Amazon River happiness. 

The tank is still cycling, so we'll see if everyone makes it through these critical next few weeks, but for now we have 2 striped angel fish, 6 lamp-eye tetras, and 6 cory catfish (3 different varieties: 1 green, 1 julii, and 4 sterbai...we kind of bought all the leftovers at the pet shop).

I knew that these fish were very different from each other (even though angels, tetras, and corys are a pretty common community tank combo), but since this is my first community tank, I'd never had the opportunity to see how different species reacted when introduced to a tank . 

By the end of the day, I had a few thoughts:

Tetras

My apologies that they are so far away, but they are shockingly camera shy. Just trying to get this shot was an adventure--the angels love to hog the limelight!

So how did they handle their big ol' home?
As soon as the dropped in they just started puttering around like it was no big deal. They've explored some since, but they were overall pretty nonplussed by the whole thing.  

Angelfish

We call this guy Quatro (he has 4 stripes), and we also have Trip (3 stripes). Quatro is certainly the dominant one and has decided that he loves the camera...though he hasn't quite figured out how to hold still. haha. 

Anyway, these guys are about the size of a quarter and already growing. Quatro has shown mild signs of aggression (that dominance thing), so we're hoping that doesn't become an issue as he gets bigger (they'll both be bigger than my hand at full size). But let me tell you, that tough guy act was NOT a thing the night we put them both in the tank. They both had freaking panic attacks. If I hadn't been so worried about them adjusting well, it would have been funny. They had been moved from a crowded, bare store tank to my wonderfully planted Amazonian haven...and they were having a cow. It was ridiculous. 

Cory Cats

 If you are not an aquarist, this may be  the first time you've heard of "cory cats." Corys are catfish and members of the family Corydoras. They are small, usually growing to 2-3 inches in length, and they are much more active and diurnal than many other catfish. They are very peaceful and prefer to life in schools. Really, they're like a bunch of swimming puppies. 

The top photo is of my Green Cory and the bottom is a Julii Cory (We also have 4 sterbai--they look a lot like the Julii, but without the black dorsal and the stripes on the side). I bought the Green Cory first because he was just so active and playful, and we got the rest to keep him company. 

Unlike the tetras who took everything in stride or the angels who panicked, the corys seemed to embrace being introduced to a new home. As if on an adventure, they immediately began to explore their new tank and make themselves at home. It was only a day or so until I found they'd dug quite a hole against one of the logs to give themselves a new hidey hole, and I've found them everywhere from under the java fern to lounging on the Amazon Sword leaves. I often find them swimming excited laps or all piled together in a corner. 

So, what's the point?
Here's the point:
I want to be like the corys. 
I don't want to act like life is either no big deal or the scariest ride ever. 
I want to admit that I may not know or understand it all and embrace new things with a bit of excitement, making a conscious decision to focus on the learning, growing, and process of life rather than a race for perfection. 
I want to focus on the good stuff. For example, corys typically prefer to school with their own species, but we couldn't find 6 of any one species, so we just bought all the oddballs--and they all seem to be getting along just fine. They'd rather have 5 other corys of 2 other species than be alone I suppose. I want to embrace the folks in my life without expecting them to be perfect or just like me. I just want to do life together, each teaching and learning. 

As I told y'all, I recently started a job as "Mary Poppins" for a teen girl and her teen brother. We've been spending the last few weeks learning how to do life together. They and their dad keep talking about stuff that I'm teaching them, but let me tell you--I am learning so much and being so blessed by these kiddos. They ask me to plan and be patient; they ask me to try new things so we can figure out paths to success; they ask me to walk away from my homework for Apples to Apples or biking, or just a story. They ask me to laugh and love and, most of all, just be with them. They ask me to make time and room in my schedule, my thoughts, and my heart for them. We're not just alike; none of us are perfect. But, like corys, we're finding friends and safe places and room to swim and time to discover, and those are treasures. 

Keep calm and Cory on. ;-) 

Adventure well; Live fully. 
HAK  
   

Scary Ride

Sometimes our adventures are thrilling and wonderful. 

But sometimes, they're just terrifying. 

Sometimes, adventure isn't even the right word. 

Sometimes, it's a nightmare. 

Our worst fears come true, and we find ourselves living in bondage to that pain and anxiety. 

Life is hard. 

Even the good stuff is hard oftentimes. 

So we watch, and we wait. 

We cling to hope.

My little sister was in Into the Woods last night. Frankly, it was a scary play. But it made me think. 

The best things in life aren't wishes. 

Or perfection. 

                                                           Or riches. 

The best things in life give us reasons to keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

Love. 

          Hope. 

                      Faith. 

                                   Joy. 

Delicate, elusive things that slip thru our fingers like wind and sand and hover in the corner of our visions like strands of gossamer. 

"Hope has a way of turning it's face to you
Just when you least expect it
You walk in a room
You look out a window
And something there leaves you breathless
You say to yourself
It's been a while since I felt this
But it feels like it might be hope." 

"Hold on. Hold on. 

Keep your eyes on the prize. 

Hold on."

~Sara Groves

 Adventure well; Live fully. 

HAK

Mary Poppins and Walking by Faith

For the first time since I started writing, I have a back-log of blog ideas. BUT, for today I simply want to pause and reflect:

I start a new job today. 
I'm going to be "Mary Poppins" for my best friend's youngest two siblings because their mama went Home unexpectedly in October. 

I'm neither mom nor sister, but it's my job to love and care for and teach these two young teenagers in the best ways I can so that they continue to grow and so their dad has more time during the work day to provide for his family. 

I woke up this morning feeling daunted. 
I'm excited beyond all belief--I love these kids, and I love nannying. 
But I woke up this morning staring my own weakness in the face.

On the one hand, I'm well equipped. I've got about 8 years of nannying experience under my belt, I'm a great cook, and I have a lot of confidence in these kids. But it's a new road for all of us. School, doctors, dinner, home responsibilities, spiritual growth, love and encouragement...my job bumps up against and includes all these things. It can be overwhelming to think about.

I ran myself in circles for awhile this morning before I came up short:

My inadequacy is not what matters: Jesus matters. 
Walking by faith, being faithful in prayer, lifting these kids and their family and all of these responsibilities to the throne of grace daily, hourly, minute-ly. That is what matters. 

This job has been on my heart for the better part of two months. 
I feel called to it, and I'm so blessed that God moved us back to Atlanta, and that I have this opportunity. 

Join me in prayer for these kiddos, their family and friends, and for me as I seek to show them Jesus in how I love and care for them.

Adventure well; Live fully. 
HAK

Gift of Life

I knew days ago that I wanted to write this post. 
I was supposed to write and publish it yesterday. 
But even today it took several minutes to even find a title. 
Every year I think words will come more easily. 
They never do. 

January 22,1973.
Roe Vs. Wade.

January 22, 2014. 
41 years later. 
54.5 million abortions later. 

I'm not going to beat around the bush, y'all. I am vehemently prolife. Frankly, no, it's not your body, your life, or your decision. God in His grace placed the gift of life in you, and it's your baby's body, your baby's life, and God's decision. 

But let's clear up something else, too: 

I don't hate you if you've had an abortion.

I wish I could make you a cup of tea, hug you, and talk about it--or maybe just sit there and drink our tea. I know it's often fear that leads to the decision, and I'm so, so sorry that you were so scared. I grieve the physical and emotional pain you've been through, and I grieve your baby. Whether or not you share my griefs, you don't need one more angry Christian in your life. I'm really sorry if you've experienced that anger. You need a hug. You need love and grace. Christ alone can set you free from fear, regret, pain, guilt, grief...the list for all of us goes on and on. We are all in bondage without Jesus. We could talk about that over tea if you want. I'll make scones, too--we could be talking awhile.

Like I said, I meant to write this yesterday. 
As much as I am passionately pro-life, I shy away from January 22.
"Right to Life" day.
It's a humbling day where words don't come easily. 

About 23 years ago, a 17 year old girl found out she was pregnant. 
From what I understand, she considered abortion. 
It would have been so easy for me to be part of the 54.5 million. 

And yet, I'm sitting here writing this blog post. 
Over the course of her pregnancy, my birth mother not only chose to carry me to term, but came to know the grace and freedom of Jesus, too. 

The end of October 1991, I was born and then adopted by my wonderful parents. 

Every January I think about how my life hung tenuously in that balance. And yet, miraculously, a terrified teenager chose 9 months of pregnancy. 
A young couple was given a baby--a baby for which they had long prayed.

Amazing Grace. 

My life is neither mine, nor a right. 

It's a gift.

God forgive me for the times when I forget that. 

January 23, 2014. 

A day to be thankful. 

Adventure well; Live fully.
HAK

"Why You Gotta Be So Mean?"

I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. Both business and art seem to attract criticism, so combining the two would certainly bring some. That doesn't really make it any easier to swallow, though. 

I got home late last night from a wonderful day out with John. On a whim, we ate breakfast at Panera before church. After church, we had lunch with friends, went to the Aquarium, and saw the Hobbit. We had so much fun! When we got in, I was surprised to see how many views my Etsy shop had received during the day and soon realized I had gotten a lot of traffic from one particular website. Intrigued, I looked it up and hunted for the page that apparently led to my shop. It was one of those websites that declares and tracks trends (whatever that means), gives ideas, etc., so I was hoping for something positive. Was I ever wrong. 

Granted, I'm not known for having a thick skin, but to have vulgar things said about something that I made...I don't know that there's skin thick enough for that. 

Being a youth of the 21st century, Taylor Swift swiftly ( ;-) ) lent her lyrics for expressing my feelings: "Why you gotta be so mean?" It's pretty much been playing in my head since. 

I don't know why someone thought it would be funny to gather things off of Etsy that they thought were sub-par and say mean, nasty things about them. That's a lot of cynicism and negativity. Is it really all that hard to say nice things? Maybe it's just hard to get one's mind out of the gutter. It's sad, really. 

So I've been thinking...
Maybe this person went through a particularly nasty breakup recently.
Maybe they were abused. 
Maybe they were bullied. 
Maybe someone they loved left or died around the holidays. 
Maybe they're a single parent and really need that job, even if it's an icky one. 
Maybe they're just really lost and sad and lonely and without a lot of hope or peace right now. 

Whatever the case, they have a big, fat need for grace--from me and all the other hardworking Etsy folks they said nasty things about. And, you know what? I need grace, too, because I'm not always nice either. I guess that puts me and this person in kind of the same boat. 

I don't really like that, but it's true. We're broken. Messed up. In real need of grace. 

So, person-out-there-who-was-a-meanie-face-yesterday, I'm sorry you don't like everything on Etsy, but I'm not going to let you decide what is okay in my shop. I'm sorry for the mean things I said in my head about you last night. 

Adventure well; Live fully.
HAK