I didn't know it was possible to have a child and love absolutely everything about him.
(Hubster questioned whether I even love it when Jem poops. Don't get me wrong--I don't have some strange poo-love, but diapers reassure me that I'm making enough milk and feeding my boy well).
Anyway. Everything. I love absolutely everything.
First morning squeaks.
"Ah goo, ah goo" as I change his diaper (I promise you this means "All good," even though my linguistics training tells me it's far too early for him to make meaningful utterances).
Wiggles, grunts, grins, and incredible belches when he nurses.
Spontaneous, frequent, wonderful, ear to ear, toothless smiles.
Giant, dramatic hand gestures.
Coos, almost giggles.
Stretches, kicks, holding his head.
Sheer delight at all his new discoveries.
And, yes, even dirty diapers.
Pre-Jemsy, I led a crazy-full always on the go life. I'm rather often asked what life looks like now.
It's still full. But not so hectic. A beautiful blessing of nursing, that I totally didn't foresee, is the rhythm it gives my day. Every four hours I must stop, more or less, and just be. I do little things during this time--talk, read, day dream-- but the motion must stop. So what does a "day in the life" look like?
Our daily living varies a bit, based on whether I have Zumba in the morning or discipleship in the evening, but, for the most part, it looks a lot like this:
In the early hours, I nurse briefly then put super cute cuddle boy back down. I then crawl back in bed myself while John gets ready for work until it's time for us to eat breakfast together. After Hubster leaves, I drink coffee, browse social media (that means connecting with all you cool-cats!), do little chores around the house, and shower before Jemsy wakes again. He nurses, and we cuddle, sing, read, and giggle. We take a walk with Mama Deb. We have lunch with Daddy, and then Jemsy takes a little nap while I putter in the studio, lining up my tasks for the afternoon. He nurses again, during which I usually read aloud to him from something like To Kill a Mockingbird (not so much because I think a 2 month old will derive great literary benefit, but so he can hear my voice and hear new words). He naps for several hours in the afternoon; I start dinner, then knit, paint, sew up seams, take pictures, and generally do the bulk of my creating and business running while he sleeps. John comes home and we eat. Jem nurses again while we catch up on our day. We spend time together as a family. Jem has his last meal then goes to bed with a round of "Hush Little Baby" and a whispered prayer still floating in his ears.
He smiled at me today during that early morning nursing when neither of us are really awake. It melts my heart every time.
Mama-hood. A gentle refining. Someday, I know he'll teach me lessons in patience and self-discipline. But for now, the lessons are sweeter: rhythm, routine, slowing down, and so much gratitude.
Adventure well; Live fully.